Friday, November 13, 2015

Praying for France

This will be brief.
France is in my mind with a heavy heart tonight. 


Libertéégalitéfraternité


My prayers are with those suffering tonight, with the first responders, and the future/current caregivers of those effected in the atrocities. 

Hail Holy Queen, 
Mother of Mercy, 
our life our sweetness and our hope. 

To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve; 
To thee do we send up our sighs, 
mourning and weeping in this valley of tears. 
Turn then, most gracious advocate, 
thine eyes of mercy toward us 
and after this our exile show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. 

O clement, 
O loving, 
O sweet Virgin Mary!

Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God
That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Reflecting on School


Good Morning! Its a beautiful day here in Hinesville..... not really. Super rainy. 

I wanted to address something that has taken me awhile to come to terms with.

Art School.

It was and is one of the biggest blessings for me in my life. It has just taken some time to see all of the growth and change it made.

It takes a thick skin, and I hoped that by the time I left I would have one. Sadly however, one never magically materialized. I hoped one day I would wake up and I could just create art without anyone's opinion's sticking to me. Guess what. Never happened. That is just how I am going to be.

I can hold my own better now. I'm not the mess that I was. Before, I used to dissolve into tears when I thought I wasn't doing well enough. I put tragically high bars for myself, and if I didn't measure up (which was a lot) I would become mopey and drag my feet.

Remember, there will always be someone better than you. In art this is true, but what is also true is that their art will NEVER be yours. Inherently two artists are two different creatures, with two different souls, two different stories. Comparing yourself to them, or anyone in life for that matter, is silly and fruitless.

Briefly on Critiques....

In a perfect world critique is a productive and healthy experience. Yes, sometimes you don't see things that are brought to your attention which brings out frustrations, but it shouldn't be malicious. 'Shouldn't' is the key word here. I realize now that I was surrounded by other fragile artists as myself in school. Many also grappling for some sense of peace and confidence in their artistic brain. Searching for some sense of triumph. For some, they found this in critiques. Those days were the worst in my opinion. Many said whatever they felt, not caring for the well being or feelings of their classmates. Now I don't want to sound whiny and like a martyr. Mostly I hated these days because they were incredibly boring.

I'll have to write about critiques in another blog. I could write forever about this.

Sadly, all I held was four years of negative as I graduated and left school, and sadly I didn't pick up a paintbrush for nearly a year. I would drag my feet every time someone wanted me to make something. Waiting till the last possible moment to finish something, because of my wavering confidence. Their smiles and encouragement kept me afloat through the initial years after school, and are priceless to me.

As time passed I have been able to reflect on school. Pulling out the threads of positive from the mess that was my brain during that time. I'm finding them everywhere. Looking at old pieces and seeing the beauty in them, or in failed creations, what I learned. Looking back and seeing the intense growth made in four short years. As time passes, I can look back and see more than just threads of positive memories. Its swaths and piles of different colorful fabric. It just took some time to see it.

It was so much growth in a short span of time. Of course there were going to be growing pains. I no longer regret who I was, and the failures. Its a beautiful thing.

I want to thank my friends and family who endured me through that time. Through the mess of who I was, and loving me for the mess I am now.

Cheers Y'all


TLDR: Art school was hard. Thats ok. Stay positive. Keep making art. The end.